The Leiry Loop

Do you think it's easy

to feign a smile
and admit defeat;
to swallow my pride
and let silence drown
the fear of dispute—

to hide behind cards
and tell you "it's okay",
that since we're playing
a game of poker I can
win through deceit—

to hold back my steps,
not leaving you behind
or for me to quicken my pace
and try to catch up—

to read between the lines;
to treat you with the courtesy
I did not have and could not give—

to answer your questions
and hope I'm correct;
to play along with your whims
of varying difficulties—

to convince myself that
I'm on the right track
and did not take
the wrong turn, the wrong path,
the wrong you—

But hey, I do think you know;
that is why you make me do them

over

and over

and over

and over

and...

until I yield
and say "I give up"
making you frown and
decide I wasn't worth it.

Do you think it's easy
or do you not care enough to know?